Letting Go of Perfectionism | Therapy in Cardiff

Like many of us, this past year has brought challenges—not the dramatic, mountain-climbing kind, but the everyday struggles that wear away at our wellbeing. As a Cardiff therapist, I’ve experienced these ups and downs alongside clients and in my own life: keeping up with professional development, tending to my own wellbeing, and trying to maintain a healthy work/life balance.

One mindset shift that has really helped me—and that I often explore in therapy in Cardiff—is the idea that being good enough is genuinely good enough.

The Weight of Perfectionism

Perfectionism often shows up quietly. It’s that inner voice pushing us to do more, be better, achieve more, never make mistakes. It can feel like motivation, but often it leads to burnout, guilt, and never quite feeling satisfied.

Psychotherapist Dr David Burns defines perfectionism as:

“People whose standards are high beyond reach or reason, who strain compulsively toward impossible goals, and who measure their self-worth in terms of productivity and accomplishment.”

As a Cardiff counsellor, I’ve seen how striving for perfection can cause harm—damaging self-esteem, fuelling anxiety, and feeding a cycle of self-criticism that’s hard to escape.

When “Good Enough” Really Is Enough

Being perfect is not only unrealistic—it’s also unnecessary.

Setting unreachable standards can chip away at our mental health. In my work offering counselling in Cardiff, I support people dealing with perfectionism’s impact: anxiety, low mood, obsessive behaviours, body image struggles, and the constant feeling that they’re falling short.

But we all get it wrong sometimes. And learning to respond with kindness instead of criticism is key. When a client says, “I messed that up,” I might gently ask, “Or did you just respond the best way you could in that moment?”

Perfectionism says “not enough.” Compassion says “you did your best.”

Can Perfectionist Thinking Be Changed?

Yes—it absolutely can. Like many habits, perfectionist thinking is learned, and with the right support, it can be unlearned.

In therapy in Cardiff, we often explore perfectionism by:

• Identifying unhelpful beliefs

• Challenging all-or-nothing thinking

• Exploring alternative perspectives

• Using exposure techniques to face fears of failure safely

• Practicing self-compassion and mindful acceptance

You don’t have to let go of high standards—but there’s a big difference between striving and struggling.

A Word from Dr Burns

One of my favourite quotes from David Burns sums it up beautifully:

“Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life.”

Start Where You Are

Whether you’re working through perfectionism, anxiety, or self-doubt, therapy Cardiff can offer a safe, non-judgmental space to explore what’s going on beneath the pressure.

As a Cardiff counsellor, I work with people who are tired of feeling “not good enough” and ready to make peace with imperfection.

If this blog resonated with you, feel free to get in touch. I offer counselling in Cardiff for individuals looking to build confidence, challenge negative thinking, and reconnect with their sense of worth.

And for the record—no, this blog isn’t perfect. But it’s good enough. 😊